friends, or what i love about oakland #2

 

I envy little in others. Fame and wealth and extreme beauty fascinate me. I thrill at another's exotic vacation or fresh romance. But a real coveting of something someone else has? Here's one thing: old friendships. That's something I wish I had. Like Karen at Shutter Sisters, my family moved around a lot. I moved in 3rd, 6th, and 9th grade. Then again for college, after graduation, and for graduate school. I crossed state lines and finally, a continent. And then my parents left where we had lived during my high school, so that became another move for me, as related to holding on to friendships. For a few years after each move, letters and seldom visits kept friendships alive. But the oldest of those, formed in grade school and earlier, those are gone. Really gone. Time, mostly has erased them. But our slow climb on the social ladder, via my dad's promotions and bigger houses, was probably the real killer.

Sandy was my best friend in elementary school. Our back yards touched since the day I was born. Even though we went to different schools, we still spent our summers flying on her trampoline or turning over rocks in the creek. At 21 she was married and living in a trailer. At 21 I was studying Matisse and Tagore. It never mattered where we lived or what we did, but over time, the memories faded and we didn't have much to talk about. I wouldn't know how to find her today.

I have lived in the bay Area for 13 years. Longer than anywhere else in my entire life. Stella and Otto are blessed by fun, diverse friends. It is not uncommon for Stella to tell me that some people have a mommy and a daddy, some people have two daddies, and some people only have a mommy... and so on. She once let us know that she wanted two mommies too. Augusto said he thought that was a great idea! Most of our crowd is from somewhere else- as is common in the San Francisco Bay Area. Will we live in this house, this neighborhood forever? Or will our friends? I doubt it. But we want for our children what we long for ourselves. How will we preserve their - our friendships?