finger gore and a lovely girl

  Losing a fingernail is like losing a tooth. First it's disgusting, then you just want it over with. I'm losing my left pinky nail because of a nasty cuticle infection. It's been hurting for nearly 10 weeks. For two nights it was so painful, at 3am I nearly went to the Emergency. This, after two medication-free home births. A throbbing finger puts me on the verge of an embarrassing trip to the hospital.

"What are you here for?"
"My finger."
"What is wrong with it?"
And then I show them the centimeter of red and everyone in the triage laughs.

I decided to stop trying to treat myself with saltwater soaks and got a culture. It is MRSA, a resistant community acquired bacteria. I'm on my third course of antibiotics. I've only take antibiotics three times in my memorable life. This fourth event (three different meds over 30 days) is the longest. And nothing really worked until the base of my nail popped free. The color is fading, and the pain is easing.

Instead of a picture of my sick finger, I give you rocks and my lovely girl for

love thursday. I thought you'd like this one just a little more. I love smooth rocks and her heart hoodie.

Mom Squad

Surfing, instead of running (although I am fully geared in a jog bra), I found this Mom Squad Makeover Contest. Entered videos are available for inspiration. The more I watch, the better I feel. It IS hard work being a mom. It IS normal to have a jelly belly, sallow skin, and a grumpy outlook. I love these real moms. Some sad, some begging, even. I want to reach out and hug every one, say "I know how you feel, I have dog hair everywhere, too."

I don't need a makeover, I just need to exercise, sleep, eat vegetables instead of cookies, and take a shower every day. I rushed everyone out the door (late, as usual). So I'm signing off and putting on my running shoes. The dog has been waiting long enough. I'm just going to think "makeover, makeover" while I run.

What inspires you to feel better?

Creative Urges

afternoon sun, originally uploaded by kimthemidwife.

I've been feeling like a haggard woman. Saggy skin, downturned cheeks, shadowed eyes. Caffeine alone isn't perking me anymore. Cleaning out dark corners of the house isn't either. I keep abandoning the exercise plan.

So I'm holing up on the computer and blissing out on my family photos. I'm cranking up the creative volume in my life from everything to kid crafts to mama time. I found a great photo site, Shutter Sisters, and am entering their "eyes closed" challenge. I remember from long ago photography classes that you have to be really careful about sharp lighting contrasts. But the light highlights my daughter's sweet face-- without any idea about what a haggard woman is. That's bliss.