05 November 2008

Post Election Blues

Last week we were on the way to swim class and we passed a large group of people chanting and waving YES on 8 signs. "What are they doing, Mama?" Stella asked from her car seat. "Well..." I thought about how to explain the California proposition to change the constitution.

Me: "You know that Papai and I are married, right?"
Stella: "Right."
Me: "Do you think that's OK?"
Stella (a little confused): "Yeah."
Me: "And you know Mark and Lina's Daddy and Poppy are married, right?"
Stella: "Yeah."
Me: "Do you think that's OK?"
Stella: "Yeah."
Me: "And do you think two girls could get married?"
Stella (thinking this is silly): "Yeah."
Me: "I think so too, but those people with the signs think that only a boy and a girl should be able to get married."
Stella: "WHAT?!" (as if I told her there was no more color blue)

Today I am elated with Obama's victory.

I need to let that statement stand alone. But (WHY does there need to be a "but"?), I am sad too. Living in the Bay Area bubble, I really thought Prop 8 wouldn't pass. I shared my little legislative lesson in hate with Mark and Lina's Poppy and he said, "We lost the battle, but we won the war."


There is hope for the next generation.


Karen said...

Those people with the signs have no idea what they are doing to real people with real feelings. How in the world would who "I" married affect them?

M.M.M. said...

Thank you Stella! (And thank you, Kim, for raising her.)

I spent the morning researching legal options, other than flying to Boston, that will allow K's health insurance to cover me too.

Her company if fair and well-meaning and doesn't want to discriminate. They will honor a legal marriage from another state or a domestic partnership if we have lived together for 6 months or more.

However, their policies are not designed to recognize that I am moving halfway across the country to be with her, or that we have registered for domestic partnership in the City of Boulder, or that we would be legally married by now if we could just go downtown and do it like other people.

If I continue to pay for my own COBRA health insurance for another 6 months...that will be $3,000.00.

A few days in Boston would cost about half of that, but what a hassle.

This computer is slow and the pages take a while to load. I spend that time crying because it all feels so unfair.

And then I remember that I have it easy compared to a lot of people. At least her company is trying to be fair. There's no law that tells them they have to be. We are entirely at their mercy.

Thank goodness they have some.