30 July 2005

What will you do when you get out?

That's one of the questions I would ask a prisoner. When you have the ability to do something you can't right now, what would it be? I have imagined many answers. Swim in a lake, go to a concert, eat grandma's pie in her kitchen. There was a time (oh, so long ago in these 9 months) I would really DO things when I had freedom from my mothering duties. Put down a patio. Paint the dining room. Shift the blue fescue from one bed to another. Sometimes I would do something indulgent. Revise a poem. Bake a cake. I'm not talking about the mintues when my daughter is napping or the hours between her bedtime and mine. I'm talking about when Stella is with my husband, and I am really off in body and mind.

They went to swim class this morning. I have a few minutes left of not much more than an hour. What have I done? Read the East Bay Express cover to cover. Took a shower. Ate a plum. Pet the cat. Thought about calling my mother but decided I can do that when I have Stella. Briefly considered my pile of art supplies on the kitchen counter, but I don't want to clean up the mess. Checked email (none). Checked my blog for... what? I don't know, but there was a new comment! Thank you! Which brings me to now. They will rush the door any moment. Her upper body will lean to me with magnetic force, and my real life will begin again. What will I say to him when he asks what I did while they were gone?

Not much.

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